Funny-Christmas.com

5 Funny Christmas Songs for Adults

Tired of the sappy traditional Christmas carols? Try some of these funny Christmas songs for adults and discover some irreverent new tunes for the holidays.

1. The Twisted Chipmunk Song – Bob Rivers
If you can’t stand those cheerful high-pitched singing chipmunks and their cute little song imploring Christmas not to be late, you’ll probably enjoy this twisted version of the song. You’ll still have to put up with those high-pitched chipmunk voices, but these lyrics aren’t a sappy plea to Santa to bring lots of nice toys.

2. Jingle Bombs – Jeff Dunham
Ventriloquist and comedian Jeff Dunham allows his dummy, Achmed the Dead Terrorist, to sing his own version of Jingle Bells on Dunham’s “Don’t Come Home for Christmas” CD. Achmed’s version includes some jabs at “Guitar Guy” and lyrics that include, “Dashing through the sand, with a bomb strapped to my back…” And if you’re familiar with Achmed’s signature phrase, you won’t be disappointed.

3. She’s a Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas – Patent Pending
Forget about Mommy kissing Santa Claus. This isn’t a song you’ll want the kids hearing – or repeating. The “ho ho ho” in this funny Christmas song for adults isn’t stopping with a peck under the mistletoe. She’s spending Christmas “with a bottle in her hands and with her legs around a man.” But can you blame her? “Ever since her grandma got run over by a reindeer, she’s been running low on Christmas cheer.”

4. The Twelve Pains Of Christmas – Bob Rivers
There’s no partridge in a pear tree in Bob Rivers’ parody of the 12 Days of Christmas. Rivers has a long list of complaints in this song, from singing Christmas carols to finding a Christmas tree, and plenty of “pains” in between.

5. Redneck 12 Days Of Christmas – Jeff Foxworthy
If you want another funny 12 Days of Christmas song, comedian Jeff Foxworthy offers the Redneck 12 Days of Christmas. What do rednecks get for Christmas? Counting backwards, it’s 12 packs of Bud, 11 wrestlin’ tickets, 10 a Copenhagen, 9 years probation, and so on down to some parts for a Mustang GT.

Click below to here samples of these funny Christmas songs for adults.

Santa’s Stuck up in the Chimney

This fun video features the song Santa’s Stuck Up in the Chimney, by Paul Evans. Maybe it’s time for Santa to take a hint – it’s time to lay off the milk and cookies.

Can You Name the Elf Food Groups?

Quick, what do elves eat? We all know Santa prefers cookies and milk, but what about the little helpers in his factory?

In the movie “Elf,” Will Farrell stars as Buddy the Elf, a man raised by Christmas elves. According to Buddy, elves have four main food groups – candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

This scene from the movie shows Buddy chugging soda, pouring syrup on spaghetti and explaining the dietary preferences of Santa Claus’ elves. Somehow I don’t think the USDA would approve.

New “Buttcracker” Video from JibJab

The funny folks from JibJab are at it again. They’ve created brand new funny ecards for the holidays. These “Starring You” cards feature you and/or your friends and family. All you need to do is upload some faces, and they do the rest. In addition to the new “Buttcracker” greeting shown below, they’ve also got new cards featuring snowmen and elves, as well as a long list of existing funny cards. Check it out their funny animated holiday greetings at JibJab.com.

Why You’ve Got to Go to Sleep Before Santa Comes

Why does Santa Claus only come after the little kids are asleep? Well, if I told you the answer to that questions, I’d have to kill you. Poor Timmy.

This image is available on a Christmas card from CardStore.com.

O Kitty Tree

If you’re familiar with the Christmas song “O Christmas Tree,” you may recognize this tune, but you won’t recognize the lyrics as some little kitties sing about the joys of that wonderfully fun tall green cat toy.