What better way to bring a smile, a giggle or a hardy laugh to your friends and loved ones than to send them funny holiday greeting cards. Humor is sometimes the greatest gift of all. As the holiday season gradually begins to creep up on us, we all tend to feel pressured by commercial advertisements and overflowing, catalog-stuffed mailboxes. The message is loud and clear-to give more means to buy more. Discounts and other incentives aside, the sheer magnitude of competing products in the marketplace can quickly drain our wallets and pocketbooks.

Sure, gifts may still be in order, but why not supplement, or substitute them with funny holiday greeting cards. With nearly 3,000 greeting card publishers nationwide to choose from, what’s the best way to quickly zero in on the perfect card? I’ve written about greeting cards before and searched far and wide for companies offering just the right cards. Many catalogs present a unique collection to browse through. Additionally, some websites are very complicated to use while others are super easy to use and images are sharp and clear, web pages load quickly, navigation around the site is simple, and check-out is a breeze. For those of us who still prefer the more tangible approach to shopping, many cards can be found in many brick-and-mortar locations such as: bookstores, coffee shops, pharmacies, food markets, houseware stores, garden centers, and gift shops.

What makes funny holiday greeting cards from certain companies so great? Imagination! For starters, you can’t go wrong with animals. Greeting card companies that love to use all kinds of animals-cats, dogs, birds, penguins, bears, etc. — as subjects for their greeting cards. For instance, I found one holiday card featuring two dogs — one wearing a Santa hat and the other one, red reindeer antlers-sitting at a table in front of a roasted turkey, licking their chops. Another card shows a penguin snatching a carrot off a snowman’s face with its beak. Can you imagine a cat building a snowman? Some crazy photographer caught it on camera!

The omniscient Santa figure also makes a great subject for funny holiday cards. An image of Santa has a way of making everyone feel like a kid again, special, and deserving. Now, imagine Santa sitting down on the job. Whoever thought the jovial, red-suited man takes late-night coffee breaks between deliveries! It’s another classic card.

The best greeting card company’s greetings are non-denominational, appropriate for friends and family of all faiths. Some examples are: “Happy Holidays,” “Enjoy the Magic of the Season,” “Peace on Earth.” and “Warmest wishes for the holidays!”

Cost is also an issue. Generally, I found that at about $13 for a box of 10 cards, individual cards cost about $1.30 each! Other greeting card companies are selling holiday cards for more than $2.50 each and they’re not nearly as nice as some of the cards that cost half as much. Treat your friends, family, and colleagues to funny holiday greeting cards and don’t forget to repeat this year’s holiday mantra… “Start early, spend less, smile more!”

Check out Palm Press’s full line of funny holiday greeting cards at their website. Order early and get all your cards sent out early this year. Less stress makes for a more enjoyable holiday season. If you order $125 of funny holiday greeting cards you’ll even get free shipping! Also, check out the Last Minute Card Kit for great gifts for college students.

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For more funny holiday greeting cards, see our selection of funny Christmas cards.

Christmas Humor – Santa Reports First Loss in 150 Years Due to Over Regulation
By Lance Winslow

It appears that the Santa Claus Corporation is having a tough time competing in the marketplace due to the over regulation that has permeated the North Pole. “This is worse than the global warming theory,” said Santa, “Over regulation is preventing our factories producing all the toys we need to make to get out for 2009 Christmas season. If we don’t finish in time, all is lost and we don’t want to lose our contract for Christmas, especially at a time we just picked up the contract for Hanukkah.”

Currently, Santa Claus Inc. is delivering toys to nearly 1.1 billion children around the world, but since they are in a US territory, they have to deal with the United States Government’s massive over regulation. Chris Kringle VII, the CEO and chairman of the Corporation stated;

“I hate to have to close down the factories, and outsource all the work to China, but I have no choice, our health care costs have tripled, workers compensation has doubled, and I’ve had the EPA, OSHA, and several other regulatory bodies flying up here to the North Pole telling us we’ve been breaking the rules and regulations and then giving us serious fines.”

“All this has cut into our bottom line and we no longer can afford to run the factories 24 seven, pay the elves their overtime, and still comply with the incessant rules. Sarbanes-Oxley has been tough enough,” stated Santa Claus Inc.’s corporate counsel and attorney. The CFO of the company told investors on a conference call that it looks like they would be reporting the first loss in 150 years. Their stock is down 4.25% on the day.

Lance Winslow is a retired Founder of a Nationwide Franchise Chain, and now runs the Online Think Tank. Lance Winslow believes in less regulatory nonsense.

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As the photo shows, you can buy car reindeer antlers (they even jingle!) to stick on your car’s roof (well, they attach to the windows) and a big red nose to stick on the front grill. With this costume, you car will be way cooler than those of the people who have those plain ol’ wreaths on their front grill!

Of course, I have no idea how well these decorations will stay on your car. Probably not nearly as well as they stay on Santa’s real reindeer. The product description says they’re easy to attach with wire, but I’ll update this post once I get mine and see how sturdy they are. But even if they just stay on for a day, you can at least amuse your coworkers or other people driving around the shopping mall looking for a place to park. For extra effect, be sure to yell an appropriate Santa-like phrase as you return to your car, such as, “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, on Toyota! (or whatever car make you may be driving).”

Check out The Lighter Side or Amazon.com if you want to get your own car reindeer antlers.

If you’re not familiar with Elf Yourself (where have YOU been?), you can upload up to five images and turn them into dancing elves. The original site offered only one dance. Last year they added three more, but the quality was very poor – the images were overexposed and blurry. But I’m happy to report that this year’s additions are high quality. They’ve added two new options – Singing Elves and a hip-hop dance – and dumped the Charleston dance from last year. Here’s an example of the new Singing Elves option.

Christmas letter from lawyer’s son

Free Funny Christmas eCards
eGreetings.com has a good selection of funny Christmas cards, including one that lets you “pimp Santa’s ride.” There’s also the requisite bathroom humor cards (farting snowmen and farting reindeer) and cards featuring pets. They’ve also got one in which “Queer Eye for the Mean Guy” gives Scrooge a makeover. Now that’s not something you’ll find on every site!

Care2.com is one of my favorite places for free ecards because they donate money to save the rainforest with each card sent. But don’t worry about this serious mission crimping their sense of humor. They’ve got some good funny Christmas cards. One popular one called Xmas Blues shows Santa, Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman and a Penguin rocking out with a Christmas carol. They have have a lot of cards with silly pictures of pets.

Elf Yourself really needs no introduction. It’s the enormously popular site that lets you upload your own photos and put your head on some silly dancing elves during the holidays. It’s sponsored by Office Depot.

Free Funny Christmas Cards You Can Print
Of course, sometimes print is preferable to electronic media, so if you’re looking for places to print your own free funny Christmas cards, here are two options.

Blue Mountain offers a limited number of free cards, but if you don’t want to be limited to that selection, simply sign up for their 14-day free trial and you’ll have access to all their free funny Christmas cards. They have both ecards and printable cards, so the choice is yours. The images in this post (i.e., Santa’s derriere and the “free beer” sign on the rooftop) are from Blue Mountain’s printable holiday collection.

American Greetings also offers free funny Christmas cards you can print or send via email. Check out, for instance, the ecard rapping “You Can’t Wrap This” card.

Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money?
-Tom Armstrong

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
- Anonymous

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
- Victor Borge

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.
-Anonymous

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer… Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
- Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukka’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukka!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’
- Dave Barry, Christmas Shopping