As the photo shows, you can buy car reindeer antlers (they even jingle!) to stick on your car’s roof (well, they attach to the windows) and a big red nose to stick on the front grill. With this costume, you car will be way cooler than those of the people who have those plain ol’ wreaths on their front grill!

Of course, I have no idea how well these decorations will stay on your car. Probably not nearly as well as they stay on Santa’s real reindeer. The product description says they’re easy to attach with wire, but I’ll update this post once I get mine and see how sturdy they are. But even if they just stay on for a day, you can at least amuse your coworkers or other people driving around the shopping mall looking for a place to park. For extra effect, be sure to yell an appropriate Santa-like phrase as you return to your car, such as, “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, on Toyota! (or whatever car make you may be driving).”

Check out The Lighter Side or Amazon.com if you want to get your own car reindeer antlers.

I’ve seen Christmas hand towels, bath towels, soap dispensers and other bathroom decor, but I must have lived a sheltered life because I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen Christmas toilet paper. Check out the photo at the right if you’re also unaccustomed to such festive bathroom tissue and are dying to know what it looks like.

(Btw, this image is from JeremyInc.com, so photo credit goes to the folks there. They also sell other funny toilet tissue. Want to wipe your rear end with Osama bin Laden? Hey, they can make it happen!)

Because I’d never heard of Christmas toiler paper, I had to go searching the web to see if anyone else is selling it and, sure enough, I did find more Christmas toilet paper. Who knew such a thing existed? How in the world have I lived this long without knowing about it?

But now I’m wondering exactly how you’d use decorative toilet paper. What would you do when guests came to the house? Would you let them visit the bathroom but instruct them not to use the “good” toilet paper? Would it be like bathrooms where people hang out the “good” towels that you’re not supposed to use to dry your hands?

Jeremy’s site suggests using it as a gag gift, and that seems to be a better idea. No need to tell your guest to use the “regular” toilet paper. Perhaps the decorative kind would be perfect for the people in your life who deserve coal. After all, coal’s kinda hard to come by, but if you want to tell someone they’ve been acting like a pile of dog doo and they need to clean up their act, well, this could be the answer.

Or, if you just want to make your bathroom a little more festive for the holidays, it might make a great complement to this Christmas reindeer bathroom toilet seat. Need we say more?

I love this mug. I know a few people I’d love to give it to, as I’m sure they’re on Santa’s Naughty List, but they’re also the kind of people who probably wouldn’t have a sense of humor. They’re “bah humbug!” kind of people all year long. So it would be even better to get some of the Santa’s coal I mentioned in a previous post and stuff it in this mug and THEN give it to the people on the Naughty List. I’m sure Santa wouldn’t mind if I helped him out with the folks on the Naughty List. He’s probably a lot happier when he doesn’t have to deal with them either.

I hear that you’ve been naughty.
So listen, here’s the scoop.
Instead of getting coal this year,
You’re getting snowman poop!

Snowman Poop Poem (Santa’s viewpoint)
This variation is very similar to the poem above, but it’s worded as if it’s written by Santa Claus.

I heard that you’ve been naughty,
So listen, here’s the scoop…
I’m running short on coal this year,
So here’s some snowman poop!

Snowman Poop (Sweet Dreams Version)
This poop poem is a bit longer and abandons the idea that the recipient is getting snowman poop as a punishment. In fact, in this version, the sweet treat also promises sweet dreams.

In the cold of winter when snow arrives,
The snowmen dance and feel alive.
If you follow in their tracks,
You’ll find little droppings from their cracks.
Round and white, so sweet and light,
Eat one or two for sweet dreams tonight!

Snowman Poop (Sweet Dreams Version #2)
In this version of the poem, the recipient is again getting snowman poop as a punishment, but they can still have sweet dreams.

Santa came and went last night
Traveling on his worldwide loop.
Because you weren’t so good this year
You get no coal, just snowman poop.
Round and white, tasty and light
Eat some for sweet dreams tonight!

Snowman Poop (Santa Stocking Version)
This variation works well for snowman poop that is left in someone’s Christmas stocking.

Santa looked at his list,
Even checked it twice.
And he’s seen that you’ve not been very nice.
Since coal’s so expensive, here’s the scoop –
Santa’s filling your stocking
with snowman poop.

Snowman Poo
You better watch out, you better not cry. Santa’s watching and bringing “poo” instead of “poop.”

He knows that you’ve been bad –
Santa’s always watching you.
So all you get for Christmas
is this snowman poo.

(This list was reprinted from Snowman Poop Poem at HubPages.)